The Price of Being a Woman: A System Rigged from the Start

What Are They So Afraid Of?

What is it that men—specifically those who cling to patriarchal structures—are so afraid of? Perhaps it’s because when women rise, entire communities thrive. When women gain wealth, they invest in their families and uplift their communities. The data is clear: educating and empowering women creates a ripple effect of prosperity, safety, and well-being that benefits everyone.

Contrast this with men, who are statistically more likely to spend on themselves. When women succeed, the world becomes kinder, more equitable, and more sustainable. There would be less war, less greed, and fewer power plays.

So why the resistance?

Because empowering women means relinquishing control. It means admitting that the patriarchy was never about fairness or justice—it was about dominance, fear, and insecurity.

Should Men and Women Split the Bills?

Given all of this, is splitting the bills truly a feminist act? Or is it a convenient distraction from the real issues? Asking women to share equally in costs while ignoring the millions of dollars they lose over a lifetime due to systemic inequalities is not equality—it’s ignorance of the broader picture.

Modern men who genuinely advocate for gender equality must understand this disparity and ask themselves: What am I doing to challenge the system? It’s not about splitting restaurant checks or dividing household expenses. It’s about acknowledging that, as things stand, the system isn’t 50/50—it’s 80/20 at best.

True equality requires action: sharing caregiving responsibilities, addressing workplace disparities, dismantling societal beauty standards, and creating policies that promote equity.

This isn’t just a fight for women—it’s a fight for a better world. And it’s time men joined the battle, not as equals in the trenches, but as allies willing to lift the burden off those who have carried it far too long.

1. Earnings Disparity

On average, women in the United States earn about 83 cents for every dollar a man earns in the same job. Over a lifetime of work (from age 18 to 65), women earn approximately $400,000 to $1,000,000 less than men in cumulative salary, depending on the profession and educational background.

2. Time Lost to Care Responsibilities

Women often shoulder a disproportionate share of caregiving responsibilities, both for children and elderly parents. Over a lifetime, this includes:

• Menstrual Pain and Childbirth Recovery: Women lose an estimated 9-12 days annually due to severe menstrual pain and childbirth-related recovery. Over a lifetime, this adds up to 1.5 to 2 years of lost work.

• Childcare and Elderly Care: Women spend an average of 10 years of their adult lives caring for children and ageing family members, significantly more than men.

Lost Work Time Due to Menstrual Pain and Childbirth Recovery

• 9-12 days per year = approximately 1.5 to 2 years of lost work over a lifetime (from age 18 to 65).

• Assuming an average annual income of $60,000 (based on U.S. median earnings for full-time workers), this translates to:

  • $90,000 to $120,000 in lifetime wage loss.

Lost Work Time Due to Childcare and Elderly Care

• Women spend an average of 10 years (or roughly 25% of their adult working lives) caring for children and elderly family members.

• If a woman earns $60,000 annually and spends 10 years out of the workforce:

  • This results in $600,000 in lost wages over a lifetime.

• Even if a woman remains in the workforce but works reduced hours or takes a less demanding (and lower-paying) job to accommodate caregiving responsibilities, the wage loss can still be significant:

  • A reduction in work hours or lower-paying roles could result in a 20-30% decrease in earnings, which could add up to $200,000 to $300,000 in reduced lifetime income.

Total Lifetime Wage Loss

When combining lost wages from menstrual pain, childbirth recovery, childcare, and eldercare:

• $90,000 to $120,000 (menstrual pain and childbirth) +

• $600,000 (caregiving responsibilities) =

  • $690,000 to $720,000 in total estimated lifetime wage loss.

• For women who remain in the workforce but make adjustments due to caregiving, the total loss is still significant, ranging from $290,000 to $420,000 due to reduced opportunities and hours.

The Gendered Cost of Health: Medical Expenses and Systemic Bias

Women in the United States face significant financial burdens due to healthcare expenses, many of which are unique to their gender. Below is an overview of average costs for various medical services and products:

Contraceptive Pills: The cost of contraceptive pills varies widely, ranging from $0 to $50 per month, depending on the brand and whether insurance covers it. Without insurance, annual expenses can total up to $600.

Intrauterine Devices (IUDs): An IUD can cost between $500 and $1,300, including insertion. While the upfront cost is high, IUDs are effective for 3 to 10 years, potentially reducing long-term expenses.

Mammograms: The average cost of a mammogram is about $100 to $250. Annual screenings are recommended for women over 40, leading to lifetime costs of approximately $3,000 to $7,500.

Pap Smears: A Pap smear typically costs between $39 and $125. With screenings recommended every three years, the lifetime cost ranges from $500 to $1,500.

Prenatal Vitamins: These essential supplements cost about $15 to $30 per month. Over a typical 9-month pregnancy, the total expense is approximately $135 to $270.

Painkillers for Menstrual Cramps: Over-the-counter pain relievers cost around $5 to $10 per month. Over a reproductive lifetime (approximately 35 years), this totals $2,100 to $4,200.

Childbirth Costs: The average cost of childbirth in the U.S. is about $14,768 for a vaginal delivery and $26,280 for a cesarean section. Out-of-pocket expenses average $2,655 and $3,214, respectively, after insurance.

Abortion Costs: The cost of an abortion varies based on gestation period and method. For instance, medical abortions under 10 weeks can cost between $400 and $600.

Additional Considerations:

• Gender Bias in Medical Research: Historically, medical research has predominantly involved male subjects, leading to a lack of understanding of female-specific health issues. This bias contributes to misdiagnoses and delayed treatments for women.Medical News Today

   

• Misdiagnosis and Delayed Treatment: Women are more likely to be misdiagnosed, especially for conditions like heart disease, where symptoms differ from men’s. This leads to prolonged suffering and increased medical expenses.Medical News Today

   

• Healthcare Costs: Women in the U.S. face higher out-of-pocket healthcare costs than men, with an estimated $15 billion greater annual expenditure. This disparity persists even when excluding maternity-related services.World Economic Forum

3. The Pink Tax: A Lifetime Cost for Women

The Pink Tax refers to the practice of pricing products marketed to women higher than similar products marketed to men. Women pay an average of 7% more for everyday personal care items, such as menstrual products, haircuts, razors, and skincare.

• On average, women spend an extra $1,500 annually on these essential items compared to men.

• Over a lifetime (from age 18 to 81, assuming 63 years of adulthood), this amounts to approximately $94,500 in additional essential expenses.

Key Examples of the Pink Tax:

1. Menstrual Products: Considered essential, yet taxed as luxury goods in many countries, costing women hundreds annually.

2. Haircuts: Haircuts for women are often priced 30-50% higher than men’s, even for similar services.

3. Razors and Skincare Products: Nearly identical items are often marketed differently, with women’s versions carrying a higher price tag.

The Hidden Costs

These additional expenses, compounded over decades, create a significant financial disparity that disproportionately impacts women. Combined with lower lifetime earnings due to the gender wage gap and caregiving responsibilities, the Pink Tax exacerbates the economic disadvantages women face throughout their lives.

This highlights the need for policy changes, such as removing taxes on menstrual products, regulating gender-based pricing, and promoting financial equality.

4. Unpaid Household Labor

Women perform the majority of unpaid household chores, including cooking, cleaning, laundry, and organizing. If translated into paid work, this additional labor is valued at $25,000 annually. Over a lifetime, this unpaid contribution totals over $1 million.

5. Childcare Costs

Women typically spend more time and money on childcare than men. Women dedicate 60-70% more time to child-rearing activities. Throughout raising two children, this disparity can cost a woman an additional $300,000 in lost wages, reduced career advancement, and out-of-pocket expenses for childcare services.

6. The Hidden Costs of Abuse and Mental Health Recovery

Women in the United States disproportionately experience abuse—physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological—compared to men, leading to significant long-term financial and emotional consequences. The aftereffects of this abuse often extend beyond immediate trauma, deeply impacting mental health, career opportunities, and overall quality of life. Here’s a breakdown of how this disparity manifests.

Abuse Prevalence and Gender Comparison

Sexual Assault

• Women: 1 in 6 women in the U.S. experiences attempted or completed rape in her lifetime.

• Men: 1 in 33 men reports similar experiences (RAINN).

Domestic Violence

• Women: 1 in 4 women experiences severe physical violence from an intimate partner.

• Men: 1 in 9 men reports similar violence (NCADV).

These statistics underscore the vastly unequal burden women face, which is amplified by the financial and psychological costs of recovery.

The Financial Impact of Recovery

Women face substantial out-of-pocket expenses for recovery, including:

• Mental Health Treatment

  • Antidepressants and Medication: $500–$1,200 annually, depending on the type and duration of treatment.

  • Psychological Therapy: At $100–$250 per session, a survivor may spend $30,000–$100,000 or more over a lifetime to heal.

  • Specialized Support: Programs, workshops, and support groups for trauma recovery can add thousands to the financial toll.

• Missed Workdays
  Survivors of severe abuse lose an estimated 30–50 workdays annually due to mental health struggles like PTSD, anxiety, or depression. These absences lead to lost wages, compounding their financial burden.

• Career Interruptions
  Many women experience job loss or career stagnation as a result of the immediate effects of abuse or the long-term psychological impact. Over a lifetime, this can translate to earnings losses of $200,000–$400,000.

Abuse Costs: A Gendered Disparity

When considering the financial toll of abuse, the disparity between women and men is stark. Abuse recovery costs for women include significant expenditures on therapy, medication, and lost income due to caregiving and trauma recovery. Men, while not immune to abuse, face fewer disruptions in work and mental health treatment costs, reflecting the gendered nature of these challenges.

The average cost of abuse and its aftermath for a woman in the United States is approximately $57,500 over her lifetime. For a man, the cost is significantly lower, averaging around $10,455.

7. Divorce and Financial Manipulation

Divorce disproportionately impacts women, particularly when leaving abusive or manipulative partners. Studies show that men often hide assets or use financial manipulation during divorce proceedings. Women typically receive 30-50% less in financial settlements, translating to a $100,000 to $500,000 loss over their post-divorce lives.

8. The Cost of Toxic Beauty Standards: A Gendered Burden

Societal pressure for women to meet patriarchal beauty standards imposes significant financial burdens. On average, women spend $250,000 to $300,000 over their lifetimes on beauty-related expenses, including makeup, skincare, anti-aging products, and salon services.

In comparison, men spend significantly less, averaging around $50,000 to $75,000 over their lifetimes on grooming and personal care. This disparity reflects the disproportionate expectations placed on women to conform to unattainable beauty ideals—a pressure rooted in the patriarchal norms that define women’s value by their appearance.

Beauty Standards and Patriarchal Expectations

Much of women’s spending is influenced by societal norms that prioritize male validation. From flawless skin to youthful appearances, beauty standards are often designed to cater to male preferences, perpetuated by media, advertising, and cultural norms.

For instance:

• Makeup is marketed as essential to appear “professional” or “attractive,” a pressure rarely applied to men.

• Anti-aging products exploit fears of aging, which disproportionately target women while men are praised for “aging gracefully.”

• Salon services, like hair styling and waxing, are promoted as necessities, with women often paying more for the same services compared to men.

These standards not only drain women financially but also create emotional pressure to “earn” societal approval through their appearance.

Spending to Please, Not for Personal Fulfillment

While some women invest in beauty for self-expression or confidence, much of this spending stems from the need to meet male-centric expectations. Studies show that many women feel obligated to conform to these standards to be taken seriously at work, to attract partners, or to avoid judgment in social settings.

The financial and emotional toll of these beauty expectations represents yet another layer of economic inequality that women face. Addressing this disparity requires not only recognizing the societal roots of toxic beauty standards but also dismantling the systems that perpetuate them.

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9. The Financial Cost of Safety: A Gendered Burden

Women in the United States face a disproportionate financial burden to ensure their safety compared to men. This discrepancy arises from the significantly higher likelihood of women experiencing sexual harassment or assault. The additional costs of staying safe, often unavoidable, further widen the financial gap between genders.

Taxis and Rideshares

For women, walking or taking public transportation late at night often feels unsafe due to the heightened risk of harassment or assault. As a result, women frequently opt for taxis or rideshares as a safer alternative. Over a lifetime, this adds up to approximately $100,000 for women, compared to only $10,000 to $20,000 for men, who are less likely to perceive or face safety threats in public spaces.

Home Security

Women also invest more in home security measures such as alarm systems, additional locks, or surveillance equipment to feel secure in their own homes. These expenses average $5,000 to $10,000 over a lifetime for women, compared to $2,000 to $4,000 for men, who are statistically less likely to feel the need for such precautions.

Legal and Advocacy Costs

In cases of harassment or assault, women are more likely to require legal assistance, such as filing restraining orders, pursuing justice in court, or seeking advocacy services. These costs range from $3,000 to $20,000 over a lifetime for women, compared to $1,000 to $5,000 for men.

The Total Cost of Safety

Adding up these categories, women spend an estimated $108,000 to $130,000 over their lifetimes on safety-related expenses. In contrast, men spend far less, averaging $13,000 to $29,000. This represents an additional $95,000 to $117,000 that women are forced to pay simply to feel and stay safe.

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The Lifetime Gender Disparity: A Male and Female Comparison

Women face a starkly different financial reality than men, shaped by a combination of societal expectations, systemic inequalities, and gender-specific burdens. When considering factors like earnings, unpaid labor, abuse recovery, safety measures, and societal pressures, the lifetime cost disparity becomes alarmingly clear.

A Call for True Equality

Instead of starting with the 50/50 split in restaurants or household expenses, modern men who value equality should consider advocating for broader systemic changes. This includes:

• Supporting equitable wages and workplace policies.

• Sharing caregiving and household responsibilities.

• Challenging societal norms that impose unfair financial and emotional burdens on women.

By addressing the root causes of inequality, we can create a world where splitting a bill is not a symbolic gesture but a reflection of true fairness.