Have you ever felt completely drained after a simple conversation? Or have you found yourself overwhelmed in crowded places, picking up on emotions and energies that don’t belong to you? If so, you might be an empath, and though it can be a superpower at times, being an empath comes with its own set of struggles that often go unseen.

What is an Empath?

An empath is someone who deeply feels the emotions, energies, and even physical sensations of others as if they were their own. While most people have some degree of empathy, an empath experiences this on an intense and often overwhelming level. It’s more than understanding someone’s emotions—it’s embodying them. 

Empaths are naturally tuned into the emotional landscape around them, which can make them exceptional friends, partners, and healers. However, this heightened sensitivity also brings challenges, particularly when it comes to navigating trauma, relationships, and their spiritual journey. 

Empaths can quickly become co-dependent, people pleasers, and suffer the “good girl syndrome” or the “white knight syndrome” if living with unhealed emotional trauma, not having clear boundaries or being grounded. It’s when the empath puts other people’s discomfort, suffering, needs and wants before their own that it becomes problematic.  

The Struggle with Trauma

One of the most significant struggles for empaths is their relationship with trauma—both their own and that of others. Empaths often attract individuals who are emotionally wounded or dealing with unresolved pain. Because of their empathic, understanding and forgiving nature, they are also the favourite victims of people with narcissistic personality disorders. They have an innate desire to help and heal, but this can lead to emotional exhaustion and, worse, absorbing the trauma of those around them…or, in the worst-case scenario, staying in an abusive relationship because they feel love and empathy for their abuser, understand their background and pain and feel they can help them understand and heal. 

Because empaths feel so deeply, trauma impacts them in profound ways. They may have difficulty differentiating between their own emotional wounds and the pain they absorb from others. This can make healing and recovery more complicated, as they continually take on emotional baggage that isn’t theirs to carry.

Many empaths struggle with setting boundaries, which are essential for their emotional health. Without strong boundaries, they may find themselves overwhelmed, unable to heal from their own trauma while trying to process the emotional weight of those around them. 

Relationships: A Double-Edged Sword

Empaths thrive in relationships where emotional depth and understanding are present, but this same trait can also lead to complicated dynamics. In romantic relationships, empaths often take on the role of the nurturer or emotional anchor. They sense when something is wrong, even when their partner isn’t open about it. This can create emotional imbalance, with empaths giving far more than they receive.

Moreover, empaths may attract narcissists or emotionally unavailable individuals—people who seek to feed off their compassionate nature without giving back. This dynamic can be deeply draining and damaging for empaths, leading them to feel emotionally depleted, used, or manipulated.

In friendships and family dynamics, empaths may find themselves in the role of mediator or caretaker, constantly trying to maintain emotional harmony. While this may seem admirable, it often comes at the expense of their own emotional needs, leaving them feeling unappreciated or even resentful. 

The Struggle of Breaking Free for the Empath 

For empaths, change can feel like an uphill battle, especially when it comes to setting boundaries and saying “no.” Prioritizing themselves after years of self-sacrifice is incredibly challenging, not just because of their internal struggles but because the people around them—friends, family, partners, and coworkers—often resist this change. The reality is, the selfless, understanding, and forgiving nature of an empath is convenient for those in their lives. To them, it’s perfect that the empath is always available, always giving, and rarely asks for anything in return.

When an empath starts to break free and say no, they’re met with a different kind of resistance. Unlike someone with a visible issue like addiction, overeating, or aggression—who typically receives encouragement to change—the empath faces pushback. Their behavior isn’t viewed as problematic by those around them; in fact, it’s often ideal for others. After all, why would anyone want to lose someone who consistently puts their own needs last for the sake of maintaining peace and harmony? 

This dynamic makes change for an empath incredibly difficult. When they try to reclaim their energy and begin asserting their boundaries, those closest to them may unknowingly (or knowingly) try to push them back into their old patterns. They may guilt the empath into reverting to their self-sacrificing ways or subtly undermine their efforts to set limits. It’s a cycle that can leave the empath feeling trapped, as if they’re betraying their loved ones just by choosing themselves.

 This is why it’s extra important for empaths to seek out support from those who understand their journey, such as other empaths or empath-friendly groups. These supportive environments allow empaths to express themselves authentically without fear of being exploited. It’s within these safe spaces that they can learn to set boundaries, stand up for their own needs, and truly explore who they are without the pressure to always be the caregiver.  

I’ve found that empaths talk with each other, even when they are venting really difficult emotions and sharing their traumatic stories. Because they are not needy or greedy, their sharing is not draining; they don’t steal energy from the other person and don’t expect them to come save them. 

Spirituality: The Empath’s Path to Self-Discovery

On the other hand, being an empath can offer a profound connection to the spiritual realm. Empaths are often deeply spiritual, even if they don’t identify with a particular religion or belief system. Their heightened sensitivity allows them to experience deeper connections to nature, the universe, and even the emotions of others.

For many empaths, spirituality becomes a path to self-discovery and healing. They often seek solace in practices like meditation, energy work, or mindfulness, which help them clear the emotional debris they absorb daily. Spiritual practices can help them ground their energy, understand their emotional boundaries, and discover their true essence beneath all the emotional noise.

However, the spiritual path for empaths is not without its struggles. Many empaths face a constant battle between their desire to help others and the need to protect their own energy. Spiritual awakenings can be intense for empaths, as they may experience a surge in their sensitivity, making it even harder to manage the energies around them. They also need to be extra aware of traditional religious and new-age dogma that glorifies putting others’ needs first, to be self-sacrificing and constantly forgiving and understanding. While it can be beneficial for most people, for empaths, it can be downright damaging. The risk of meeting a spiritual narcissist in the form of a guru, yoga or meditation teacher, priest, shaman, NLP practitioner or personal development coach is significant. They are drawn to spiritual empaths like Gollum to the ring (in the Lord of The Rings).

Empaths must learn to balance their spiritual practices with practical boundaries, grounding and trauma healing to ensure they are not giving too much of themselves away. This balance allows them to thrive spiritually without becoming emotionally drained or losing sight of their own needs.

How Can Empaths Thrive?

For empaths to live fulfilling, balanced lives, they must prioritize self-care, boundaries, and spiritual grounding. Some ways empaths can protect their emotional well-being include: 

1. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no and recognize when you’re absorbing too much of someone else’s emotional energy.

2. Practice Grounding Techniques: Meditation, mindfulness, and spending time in nature can help empaths reset and release emotional energy they may have absorbed.

3. Develop Emotional Awareness: Understanding your emotions versus those of others is critical. Regular check-ins with yourself can help you identify what’s yours to process and what you need to release.

4. Seek Support: Empaths often feel isolated in their experiences. Finding like-minded individuals or support groups can provide a safe space to share and learn from others who understand what it’s like. We are a lot of empaths here 🙂

5. Embrace Your Gifts: Being an empath is a powerful gift, but it requires self-awareness and care. By learning to protect your energy and focus on your own emotional health, you can use your sensitivity to connect more deeply with yourself and others in a healthy, fulfilling way.

6. Heal Holistically: Work on holistically healing your emotional wounds and old and new traumas. If you haven’t already, check out our Holistic Trauma Healing Program and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Programs in the left-hand menu under programs. 

7. Practice Self-Care: Empaths must prioritize their emotional and mental well-being to avoid becoming consumed by their partner’s emotional ups and downs. They must follow their passions, hobbies, and interests, schedule time for me, and look after their holistic well-being. They must engage in practices that nourish them, energise them, and raise their vibration. It would help if they remembered to clean out the bad energies and fuel up with the good stuff. Mother Nature does a fantastic job with that… walk barefoot, hug a tree or swim in natural waters, and you will feel rejuvenated.  

Being an empath can feel like walking through the world without an emotional shield, constantly absorbing the energies of everything around you. But with awareness, strong boundaries, a holistic approach to healing your emotional wounds and a spiritual practice that nurtures you, it’s possible to survive and thrive as an empath. Embrace your sensitivity, protect your energy, and remember that healing begins with you.

Lot’s of love, from one empath to another.